My name is Linda Hopkins, previously known as "Fatty, Fatty, Two-by-Four..."

When I tell people I am a weight loss coach, eyes roll. I can see the little bubble over their heads that says, "What could this skinny bitch possibly know about weight loss?" The answer is, a lot, because I did it most of my life.

While I've never been obese, I have lived in a body that did not fit my frame. As a child, I was the one ducking behind the racks in the chubby girl department and the last one chosen for the relay team. The neighborhood kids taunted me with that old "Fatty, Fatty Two-by-Four" rhyme, while well-meaning adults said  I was "pleasingly plump." (Believe me, there was nothing pleasing about being plump.) For years, I struggled with my weight and body image, which had a profound effect on my confidence, self-esteem and ability to enjoy life.

I went on my first diet at age 12, eating only beef patties and cottage cheese, frequently lying to my mother about what I had or had not eaten while she was away at work.

As a teenager and young adult, I began experimenting with ways to manage my weight. I tried everything, including some pretty unhealthy diets--the formal kind and a few I made up. The worst was the one where I lived on nothing but lettuce and diet salad dressing for several months. When I couldn't take it anymore, I went back to my normal way of eating. And, of course, I gained back all the weight and more.

In my late 20s, tired of dieting, I decided exercise was the answer. At one time, I was working out up to eight hours a day to compensate for my compulsive eating. While I looked trim and appeared to be in good shape, I was a mess inside. It was a constant battle to burn enough calories to earn my next meal or pay penance for the last one. Meanwhile, I turned down more social invitations than I can count because I had a date with my Stairmaster. Talk about a miserable existence...

After years of yo-yo dieting, starvation and obsessive exercise, it was my year-long battle with mono  (a direct result of poor nutrition and too much exercise) and later the death of my husband that finally forced me to confront the beliefs, attitudes, emotions and habits that were holding me hostage. 

I came to grips with what I was looking for in food. I was still seeking the attention of an absentee dad who was in and out of mental institutions and later died of lung cancer. Food was comfort for the little girl living inside, looking for love and feeling confused and abandoned.

I was still looking for the approval of a stressed out mom who was doing her best to provide for me but never seemed to see me with anything but a critical eye. Her love was unquestionable, but I never quite lived up to her expectations. She died at age 57. I was 30 and still trying to figure out how to please her.

The obsessive exercise was my way of punishing the bad girl caught with her hand in the cookie jar as well as a way of seeking the "perfection" that I somehow thought would affirm me and bring me love. What would it take to be "good enough?"

Alone in the world with no parents or husband to take care of me or give me that attention I so desperately sought, I set my sights on figuring out who I was on the inside and how I could make a difference in the world. I got focused on other people, and guess what? I found myself!

Over time, I learned to take care of my body instead of tearing it down and to nourish my spirit instead of stuffing down feelings with food. Most importantly, I learned to love myself in spite of perceived flaws. Miraculously, the number on the scale has taken care of itself.

Today, at midlife, I have the knowledge and skills to trust my decisions about food.  I look forward to my daily exercise, while allowing myself rest/recovery days without fear of  seeing that little fat girl in the mirror. And while making every effort to look my best, I accept a few wrinkles and a little loose skin as part of aging and as evidence that I am alive!

If you are caught in the trap of letting food and/or exercise rule your life, or if your unhappiness with your body is coloring your mood or otherwise limiting you, I can help you develop a personalized program that will change your outlook and your body.

Contact me today for your FREE Lifescapes Discovery Session and start your journey toward a healthier, happier you!